coworker "I feel like a stuffed sausage today"

bow and bow have the same spelling
wow.

I think we should use the term brilliant more frequently in the American language.

So I was walking down the street.
Short middle aged man—apparently on his lunch—with a fedora, an 80's windbreaker and a tiny boombox. Thriller was blasting from the speakers and, you guessed it, the man was doing the full out dance. At one point he was even laying on the ground.

I wasn't quite sure how to respond.

I was trying to write tubberware and my phone corrected it to Tub edward. Naturally, that's exactly what I was trying to say.

Silence communicates.

Cooking is all intuition.

With lots of mistakes along the way.

If there were no short people there would be no tall people.

I was just informed by Chase that I am one of their best customers. I feel honored. Sniff sniff.